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Love Sucks: Night Two is a horny game where the real fantasy isn’t sex, it’s enjoying a carnival without almost immediately getting tired and wanting to go home

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I made my peace with linear visual novels a while ago—as long as there’s at least a little interaction. Let me muck around in a scene deciding what I look at while being rewarded with some ambient dialogue or whatever before I get back on the train to Plot Town, and I’m happy. That’s the kind of game Love Sucks: Night One was. You might have enjoyed the illusion you were steering it at times, but really it was a ride you were on and even if you leaned into the corners, you still got off at the same place. I mean “got off” literally, because the Love Sucks series sure are horny.

Each game in the series—a planned trilogy—is about surviving a single night. A college student in the Sunnydale-adjacent monster-haunted town of Crescent Valley, you’re on a dangerous double date with a vampire and a succubus and, just like a stereotypical college boy, you will absolutely risk your life for even a sniff of a chance of getting laid. You’re helped in this boner-headed endeavor by a magic sigil that bounces you back in time if your dates murder you before midnight. Which they might do by accident, because just like you they cannot keep their desires in check.

(Image credit: Critical Bliss)

The real fantasy of Love Sucks: Night Two isn’t the sex, though. It’s spending all night at a carnival without needing a nap. The dream of being able to ride the ferris wheel, walk down the midway eating something off a stick, play the shooting gallery, visit the arcade, hell, even the bit where you stop in at the student fair and one of your friends is running a one-shot introductory RPG session—squeezing all this into a single night is as much fantasy as the threesome.

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